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instant updates check out entries Wednesday, April 7, 2010 I've moved to a new space. Contact me and I will bring you there. 
Saturday, January 30, 2010 I am writing in again for someone who decided he is my gossip mate. You-know-who-you-are, please get it straight that are not and never once my gossip mate. I offered my help and never once thought of having anything in return. I talk to you because I talk to my friends. I visit your blog every now and then because I read blogs to find out my friends' progress in life. Beside, the last time we ever spoke was nothing more than your interim report. It is nothing else than serious work, so if you can recall any gossipy content within the last conversation, please enlighten me. If you do realised, the passage on the mysterious gossip mate and the passage about you is divided into two different paragraphs. I was refering to someone else as a gossip mate. So you totally amused me how you assumed two different stories as one! Please take the effort to read the gossip mate, words such as friend, he and she was not mentioned. What makes you so sure it is you? I think you should at least find out what was going on before you say. You sounded exactly like one of those outsiders seeing my case on the outside. I cannot be bothered nor I feel offended because you did not and never will try to find out what was going on. I took much considerations in every decision I made in Log Camp. I totally sucks because I feel I sucks too. I exploited my power and made it difficult for them. I know it all. I carried on despite the consequences because I have to. First of all, the grouping. If you notice, everyone across all levels has someone close in their group, I was practically all alone. I will have no problem making new friends among strangers. But it is too difficult in a group with everyone "paired up". It hurts me even more when the VP told me that I was put into the initial group to watch the guys and care for the girls. I actually took the responsiblity which a regular camper would not be asked to. I failed to prevent the foreseen situation and you have totally no idea how much it has upsets me. I find myself too ptitful so I decided to make it difficult for VP because I want to enjoy the camp just like any other camper and be happy. Besides, I was suffered from extreme muscle strain after running 2.4km and during amazing race. I was only protecting my own welfare. I do not think I made an excuse because I was plain concern of my personal welfare. I believe I gave a good explanation to my actions. Also, I do not think I am a double faced person. There is certainly no doubt on what I have claimed. I admit I have a few closer friends among the junior batch. It does not mean I am close to all of them. I do not think I went against what I claimed because I am seen with them. If I was a double-faced person, I will befriend the bitch in class and treat her well then plot a plan against her and bring her down. I did not because it is against my principle. I openly show criticism and it is definitely more than bitching about her on my blog. I feel my friends should know that I am very sociable person and easily interact with anyone. My acquaintances will say "Joanne is very friendly" while my true friends should know I am more than just friendly. It may sound extremely fierily on the paragraph I wrote on you but franking speaking, I pen in down in a cheeky mood. I swear I did not have any ill intention to criticise you nor your current status. I feel the matter has far dragged too long and it is torturing you. I thought you will be a happier person if you can let it go and move on. I did not make any assumptions because the evidence are mostly found on your entries in Italic ever since the break up. I did not even intend or will ever demand a change in you. I will not write about you in the future. I am glad I finally know who a person I am to you now. I feel nothing for your views towards me as an clueless passerby. But I cannot tolerate your nonsense of insulting me with your false assumptions. You should as least find out the facts but you did not. So I conclude that it was only my wishing thinking that you were my friend. If I disgusted you so much for being your so-called double face person all these while, you should stop reading and commenting on my blog. It will only give me an impression that you are a truly supportive friend who show some concern for me. If I still disgusts you after you have read all of these, I would suggest you should never step into this space anymore. Please kindly text me your mailing address so I can mail your grad night tickets to you.
Monday, January 25, 2010 Joel chanced upon a new movie trailer and shared it with me because he finds the female lead familiar but could not figure who she was. Dear John is a love story between a conversation college girl and a Army enlistee and has a girls-you-will-definitely-cry end, starring Amanda Seyfried {Mama Mia, Jennifer's Body} and Channing Tatum{Step Up, GI Joe}. Seyfried surely can pull off the geeky image. And hell why is she involved in sex scene again? The last (and only) time I saw her screamed in agony on bed in Jennifer's body and that has totally imprinted on me. She is certainly more than that in terms of acting. Please stop making her a sex icon in movies. Guys, stop staring at her huge boobs! Alright, I admit it is difficult even for a girl myself. Anyway, I googled "Dear John" and found this.
Sunday, January 24, 2010 My absence from blogging was not planned, it just happened. Life has been fulfilling being a regular student now. For that one person who was too sure I can never get rid of my once-so-glamorous life, I did it. I am busy for the right reason, nevertheless still procrastinating as usual. Just like now. I am undergoing the usual kind of frustrations too. 2010 kick off with the most awesome gift from my dad, a 32GB iPhone! My dad has enquired a lot of information on iPhone from me during my break (I lazed around too much at home!). He was certain about getting one which ponders me a lot. Yes, my dad is someone whom is really into technology but only makes careful investments (For example, a big bulky stereo set which was damn expensive 15 years ago but still kicking alive in my bedroom!). It was unusual of him to be interested in a new phone so quickly since he just got a new Nokia 5800 two months ago. I was then a little upset with him for using my plan to get himself a new phone! But anyway, he popped by Singtel Shop on New Year's day and quene up for one hour all by himself. He made many calls home just to ask me about the choice of GB, color and data usage, even the choice of a leather cover! He went on by asking "So you sure you want a black 32GB?". I say yes which set my intuition telling me the iPhone was for me. An hour later or so my dad came out with a iPhone in a red leather cover which looks exactly like Joel's (oh we are so twin!). I reaffirm my intuition by popping the bold question: "Who is the new phone for?" "It is for you, go ahead and use it." You should totally asked Joel how thrilled I looked. My dad caught me by surprised for buying such an expensive phone just for me. Freaking speaking, I never had a thing for iPhone nor any phones in the current market, the closest was N97. In fact, I hate the idea of getting a iPhone and become a part of being a main-streamer. I got the say iPhone is the best gadget ever created! It is fun to use and I am totally comfortable with the keypad now. It was also why I stopped blogging for awhile. I tweet so much whenever I go! (My dad was furious because I hit onto GPRS by accident and he immediately called Singtel to sign me up for data usage.) I just cannot get enough of it! I am awfully grateful. I never demand for an expensive phone like how my brother always do. When I do, my dad would turn me down. I was never as persistent as my brother. So my dad always chooses the phone I use. Perhaps he got guilt ridden for getting cheaper ones than my brother's. Maybe he has heard me whining about using my brother's phone because I needed more memory space to listen to songs! HAHA! Now i got the best loot at home and I am taking real good care of it... THANK YOU DADDY! I LOVE YOU! I am not saying this only because of the new loot- PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOUR BAD HEALTH AND STOP THINKING THAT THE MEDICINATIONS WILL DO WONDERS TO YOUR CONDITION IF YOU REFUSE TO WATCH YOUR DIET! At school, my lecturers complimented me during two presentations. They made my day because it has been so long and I can tell they were genuine about it. And I dare to say, I can play tennis after months of trying! Okay, just the forearm only. At least now I can receive and return shots! I used to envy a friend whom picked tennis up so easily... I am considering the get a racket of my own after a few more practice. I have not tell this to anyone yet but it is quite obvious if you are observant enough. It does not annoyed me anymore if the case is Black or Red. I seems to have grew out of it, which they always believe is a good thing. I tried bloody hard to stop those feelings but eventually gave up. So I took several bold moves and there I have a fair share of what I call memories. As time passes, I felt I was nothing more than a gossip mate. I was used? Whatever. It was easy for me since I have little spare time. As for my friend, its fat hope. He is still so in love with his ex. Since you end your internship two or three weeks earlier than the rest, I think it will be extremely difficult for you to pass time, not to mention feeling the pain whenever you miss her. Awww... For some reasons, I don't quite pity you. I feel damn upset whenever you speaks to me, because you are damn rude. (Then again, what more do I expect?) I do not quite recall being rude to you in the first place. I will be a forgiving friend. Let's hope life decides to take it easy on you from now on... SMILES (so you will have lesser pimples)! It feels great to start writing again! I promise I will pen more often.
Sunday, January 3, 2010 You were one of my bestest companion. I love the way you fascinates me with your little surprises on your black square face. I wish I could hear you out more. No doubt you annoyed me with your repeat telecast. It came to a point I wish, I could shut you up at times. It is now too late to take those words back. No matter how hard I stare at you, you would just stare blank. I could even see my reflections in your eyes. High time to face the fact I lost you for good. Nevertheless, I appreciated everything you have done for me, and the rest of the communters. Good bye, TVmobile.
Monday, December 14, 2009 it was finally showdown time. my phone went dead over a time-wasting 90 minutes phone conference. It was to get the groupings done so i agreed to speak to that b*tch. Guess what? The first time she did was to thank me for speaking to her. I never buy that and urged her into our main agenda. It was done in one minute her long time team mate is back in my team again. Then i was involved in an argument as a third party. He left the Trio and became a team with her. It was perhaps the biggest mistake in his life to feel pity for her. After which for a good 85 minutes I heard how he was mistreated as a team mates while she defend for herself. And there she goes again; "I thought... I assumed...". Did I mentioned she also fit words into other people's mouth? I disengage myself from the argument by doing research for a project. It was alarming when the phone is running on low battery. I allowed the conference to continue because I felt he needed to vent as much as he could. Such opportunity do not come by easily so it still be made in full use. The conference ended when i mistakenly disengaged it together with an incoming call. I thought it was finally over until she called. And she did it again and it is more than ever! She cried (as usual) and plead for forgiveness. SHE PLEAD ALRIGHT! She hopes in return to receive some guidance to become a better classmate. OMG, she must be kidding. No! She was not, she expressed her sincerity by pleading over five times! My mind drifted away while she was pleading. Then I was reminded of her nasty acts. She caused so much trouble in class and even back stabbed me (i only got to know it just days ago from a friend!). She refused to change every time we forgive her. I completely gave up on her. She was not going to stop pleading so I set her mum by giving her a big NO. There was no way I am going to forgive her, ever again. Guess what? She even have the cheek to ask why! It was the last straw. I scolded her at the top of my voice over the phone... I have been dreaming about this day for months! It has came to a point that I want to tear her silky long hair off her scalp or give her a tight slap on her almost flawless face. I managed suppressed it. I am not going to risk my diploma certificate. Other than that, it never cross my mind I could ever get even with her! She was impossibly ignorant. She did not give up and recite the things she should do to redeem herself. Why she did not do it when she all along knew what was right for her? I got so agitated I shouted "If you want to redeem yourself, give us by our grades, give us by our peace!". I disengaged the call immediately. She did not call back this time. It probably set her off crying even harder. I gave her a chance. In fact, I gave her the chance to change in many occasions, since more than one year ago! The rest did the same as well. If you were truly sincere about becoming a better classmate, two months would be more than enough! She was never appreciative, lets not waste our time alright? I chanced upon the the course manager and he told me her mother is going to see our advisor (again). So I told him in details what had happened. You should look his turned-off face. I am sure I would be perfectly fine even if the b*tch complains about me scolding her over the phone.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009 i got so agitated i felt the need to pen it down. i can totally comprehend to how you feel. there is definitely the need to vent it out. you feel so horrible in and out you thought it changed into a walking corpse. lets get it straight; reality hits hard but it is not the end of the world. i am here talking about single-sided affections. i have plently of such experiences so let me talk sense to you. i admire Korean woman for their courage. they brave against all odds for the man they desire and demand for their love in return, with success for love their only option. i needed the explanation, i need that "tight hard slap" to wake up my sense too. i wish i could act like a korean woman but i never did. now do you see we are on the same boat? i wanted so many times to confront my crush but i never did. it is too much of a ridiculous act. Singapore is indeed a place where Korean dramas do not work. you wont get what you want and instead turn him off. by the way, do you even read body language? some things are better to be left unsaid. i hope you have true friends who tells you the reality that you were blind from. i will like to apology on the behalf of who has cost you the pain. he had little consideration for your uncertain heart. if you think you really need his answer, summon all your reminding courage and ask him face to face, he will give you a proper one. i am positive you are not the substitute. if you were, you will be experiencing 100 times more agony, which is something worth joying for at the moment. please make sure you will do what you said. come on girl, you are not 15 but 18 years old. go ahead and cry it out! it would take awhile but i guess you should move on now.
Saturday, December 5, 2009 the following happened two weeks ago. Monday during SMK lecture, we were on the topic of franchising and Ong gave a few examples... i gave him a stern NO when he mentioned the brand 'Sweet Talk', it was a terribly mistake which set my classmates laughing out loud. for those (perhaps most of us) who did not know, 'Sweet Talk' is indeed a franchise. i only figure out later that lecturers only give accurate examples. during Friday's presentation. i spotted some errors and got occupied in correcting them. as soon as i am done, i heard a voice saying "deduct marks!". without a second thought of who it might be, i shouted "whoever dare to deduct our marks, you are bound to get it from me!". the class went into a total silent and i continue with my presentation. in the later part of the presentation, Ong spotted another error and causally said "deduct marks!". i actually broke into laughter's of shame. damn i was extremely rude due to my silliness all the time. it is not cool to offend the same lecturer twice in a week. there goes my grades if he would ever take my recklessness to heart. oh well, i hope my silliness brought some smiles on your face.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009 Christmas and New Year aside, December is jam packed as far as tests and deadlines are concerned. everyone in NP rant over the same complaint of losing sleep to meet deadlines. thankfully several lecturers took pity on us and lighten our load by a bit. trust me, complaining to your lecturers does wonders! i enjoyed watching my peers suffered while i was away (for attachment of course). it thrills me most when i am so stress-free! like they say, what comes around goes around. i am suffering the same plight and it feels like 1000 times tougher. i cannot wait to graduate and find a job. it is getting meaningless staring into the screen doing essays after essays, research after research... Darn, i have to give Ninja Assassin a miss this thrusday. ARGH ARGH AARRRGGGHHHH!
Thursday, November 19, 2009 No one who have done WISP will believe that I took THREE HOURS to post four short posts on MeL Discussion board. Yes, I just did it. I seriously need to speed up in writing.
Monday, November 16, 2009 the impression changes and varies between good and bad over time. i heard several one sided stories, i choose not to believe them totally. however when i piece them up, it seems to always taint that angelic image of yours. you are certainly a "?". it is not fair for me to judge you now. time will tell. i see it as a sign to freed myself. i suppressed all forms of unintended change of behaviors, apparently i believe i failed. for now, i believe i am better off without your presence. if only i did not meet you in the first place... PS: i am talking about an anonymous. so my friends, you are definitely NOT the one above. do not let your imaginations go wild.
Thursday, November 12, 2009 两只老虎，两只老虎 跑得慢，跑得慢 一只吃两碗饭，一只向只竹竿 真奇怪，真奇怪 this song is specially delicated to Dayna & Ivy. awww, dont mention it, i know you LOVE it!
Tuesday, November 10, 2009 the lining of my undies was exposed unintentionally during class. unfortunately i was wearing one of my favourite in blue, the exact one previously labelled as Ah Ma's undies by Zi. Ivy & Dayna saw the lining popping out from my brown pants, and instead of warning me about it, they told Ching Ee who was seated behind me to look, despite his girlfriend Bao Xin was next to him. i only realised the situation after they burst into laughters... Ching Ee looked away of course. well, i made a joke out of it: 阿嫲内裤，万岁！ (Ah Ma's undies, HOORAY!) really what, these undies is more comfortable lah! they say i am totally shameless. yes, I NEVER KNOW WHAT IS SHAME. HA!
Friday, November 6, 2009 i doubt anyone can comprehend to how i felt. i took bus service 170 where i was approached by a middle age man. he started to engage me in a conversation by asking for directions. i could tell from his accent he is a Malaysian. hell begins with his grandfather stories... i am skipping the content so if you are interested, talk to me and i will tell you. i avoided eye contact and gave short replies, apparently not enough to shut him up. then he popped the question: "can we be friends?" i shook my head immediately to his ridiculous intention. this is not my first time. the last i could recall why on a coach to KL when a man try to trick me into giving him my number. dumb ass, you think i am as naive as i look? i attract mature men- older and lonely. since it was TGIF with an exciting start for the weekend, lined up with Singapore Music Awards and later supper with friends. i "doll up" myself with a grey razorback under a bright turquoise boyfriend tee, bottom with leggings. i was not wearing a sports bra, rather a regular one with NO i thought they needed a break to breathe. for that i get unwanted attention from desperate men, fuck. my boobs is really bringing my self-esteem down. is that all guys see in me?
Sunday, November 1, 2009 we are on another level of photography: 
Wednesday, October 28, 2009 the case is BLACK today. i felt incomplete as i hurried to school without my energy booster. it is none other than a pack of Milo, which left my heart and stomach empty for the morning ride to school. my mind was preoccupied for what is to come in the afternoon- FTT. the big deal is i am going for the test almost unprepared. two good days of rest at home was more than i deserved. despite that, i feel extremely exhausted. the virus surely killed many of my brain cells, i even had difficulties in spelling words. Needless to say, FTT self-revision was a total vain. i was prepared for the worst, almost sure i am going to fail. Human Communications gave me a good push. we were on intrapersonal communications, that means conversing with yourself. for example, you impose positive messages into your mind, you will work positively and eventually produce positive results. so i did the exact thing- imposing the idea of a PASSED, and that totally blow my mind away from the rest of the lecture. i met up with aik hao at the bus stop. his friends and he told me what to expect, and their "pop quiz" totally swept me off my feet. it might be how i would fare later. a practice quiz before the actual boosted my understanding. there is one thing i loathe about the test; i am caught in the complicated functions of a manual which i would never use. i was extremely nervous right before the rest (as always)... pardon me for all the whinning, I PASSED I PASSED I PASSED!!! it was pure luck and blessings from GYM. TP is up, 9 Feburary 2010.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009 the case is BLACK today, yesterday and the day before yesterday. FINALLY i am ill for having minimum rest after Nike Race. sunday was the day i dragged myself to the family clinic. DOC: hi young lady, have a seat... what happened? ME: *hoarse voice*: i am having severe flu and sore throat DOC: do you cough? ME: well... not yet the doctor giggled. DOC: i noticed your tongue is colored in purple the doctor giggled, again. ME: yes, i took some lozenges you gave me previously... it is either he is happy to serve me or i am being a joke. since my answers has brighten up his day, good for him. no cough medicine was given, only more purple lozenges and flu pills. the flu pills was very effective and when i can finally breathe... i started coughing like a final stage lunch cancer patient! i wouldn't say "not yet" to cough for no good reason right? it was to the extent i cough out phelgm every 10 minutes interval. my body has a fixed formulae against the virus- the give-and-take rule, have a less irritated throat or a less irritated nose. i gave school on monday and dropped by the doctor again, and requested two days MC and cough syrup. alright, two days MC make me sound really sick. it was three days straight of sleep-eat-sleep-eat motion... and obviously i feel better if not i will be hosptialised H1N1 already, CHOY! PS: for all that suffering, i lost 2-3kg.
Friday, October 23, 2009 the case is RED today. i started my day with both nostrils blocked. i blown my nose so much in class, i had to borrowed many packets of tissues from my classmates. and i can tell from the mucus that the virus is a killer. despite saying that, i took the gamble and had the famous Bento Set. the good old taste is simply heavenly. nicholas tan, i know you are seeing this- stop drooling right now! the one i dreaded most has come, SMK presentations will officially start next week. my cliques came together to form a team, and since we had no idea who to make team leader, we let my baby crocodile choose. it gave me a painful bite so i startled with a scream. okay, i was a damn joke. we called ourselves the district. it was initially blue district, black district or even red district... HEY! does not red district reminds you of... come on, stop those wild thoughts, and stop Ivy from using me as her business captial! it was early dismissal today. i headed straight home to catch some sleep. it will be a long night before Nike Race.
Thursday, October 22, 2009 the case is BLACK. it has been an 4 hours of lectures back to back in the same room was pure Wong start and since he asked Santa to deliver them at night, we are kept in suspense until we see Olympic on television. our forever-smiling Tan also gave us his most genuine he he is simply the gift was already in my bedroom when Olympic made his first cry. i recieved a and i got all it was definetly good game. time is up, i am off to attend to my catch me around soon!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009 the case is RED today. ... ... TBC
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please note best view in mozilla firefox if you found yourself taking a longer time to view my blog, click the refresh buttom again after entering the url, the content will appear almost immediately profile Joanne Chua 19890913 Muddle-headed Often hibernates on Sunday Hougang Secondary School Ngee Ann Polytechnic (BQPE Year 3) affiliate missyhappygolucky messages your tags are precious to me so leave a message before you go archives September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 April 2010 credits reminiscenceslove |
