one of the best memories i had was when i wait for my dad to bring happy meal home every thrusday, no matter how much my mother nag, he will buy two sets for both my brother and me. he kinda figured out that kids hate to share their toys. what comes after that has a greater impact on me. my parents like to compare me to my brother. my parents would never buy me barbie dolls but spends tons of money on power rangers toys for my brother. they claimed that it's better because power ranger toys are unisex.

it went worse when we both start primary education. my brother was obedient & diligent thus scoring better grades than me. i felt hurt and seriously see no reason why i should study so there was no improvement in my grades. science was later introduced to us and i developed some interests for it which became something that im proud of- i did better in it than my brother. yet, whenever i bring my results slip home, my parents. would only say one thing " why do you get such low marks for english/ maths?" my wish was simple- just praise me for my science results, that's the minimum motivation you can offer me. why are they critising me all the time?

PSLE was around the corner, my parent input this concept that NA students are good-for-nothing and does not want me to end up like them. they hired a tutor who she thinks that i was hopeless too. to everyone's expectations, i enter secondary school as a NA student while my brother chose express stream over NA. even i depised myself. my dad even used that insulting tone to tell my uncles that i landed myself in NA and said things that my classmates arent the best people to mix around. everyone thinks negatitively about you. that was the last straw man. i started studying for one good reason- to prove to the bloody world that NA student are worth their respect. at the end of each year, i was given busaries or scholarship money. at least now the school and MOE recongises my efforts. my greatest consolences was from my 4th aunt and her family. my 4th uncle-in-law praises me for speaking fluent mandarin & encouraged me to work harder. this is evil but i have to admit that i was rather happy that my brother got literately transferred to NA. everyone's disappointed. my mom scolded him left-right for it. guess what? she was the one who encouraged him to choose the express stream and she now blames him for his bad choice. i consoled my bro, i just know how he felt and assure him to a new yet more exciting life in NA, and i was right.

we been in the same plight too. i'd like you to know that i appreciate your hardwork and tolerated me. just remember, there are people out there who have faith in ya abilities, learn to love them and love yourself more. by then, your mom will also learn that you arent as bad as she think so. Good Luck!

(: