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instant updates check out entries Wednesday, March 25, 2009 原来想通了，选择原谅，会让人有种自我解放的感觉。 现在的我已经遗忘埋藏在心里很久很久的不愉快。 --- 这一年来累计的一切，让我学到19来还未学到的。 向来我行我素，没想到也会感到无助，寂寞。 我不喜欢当初自己一个人选择未来的路。 事到如今，我还能深深感受到那种一个人站在十指路口的感觉。 我才发现一直以来预备要向往的路，不是那条最适合现实的。 未来的事，无人能预知。 我们能做的只是不要太稚拙，其实改变也是一种美。 
Monday, March 23, 2009 I had a terrible time choosing the right outfit for the presentation, Until I was reminded of the skirt I wore for AGM. I put on that with a short-sleeved shirt. My attire was extremely body-hugging, since I have put on weight. He will be thrilled to see me, again. Oh well, he is forever thrilled to see me. I overslept, it was a perfect excuse not to meet him lunch. I paid a hefty price of $12.70 to cab down to the exact location. I felt it was worth it, since I can avoid having his eyes all over me. Nothing interesting happened before and after the presentation. He offered to give me a lift home. I accepted it; it was too difficult to get out of that newly developed place. He is disgustingly amazing in the short 20 minutes ride to Adam Road. His eyes were all over me and never lose concentration on the road. He reminded me that he gave me an A for a particular module. I had to ask why. Too many people expected this to happened, as they claimed he was into me. It totally insults my character and capability. I admit that I did not fully commit myself as a leader. It was hard as I felt no sense of belonging to that project. Still I work as hard, try hard to fulfil the requirements. He explained that he could only give an A for the group leader, as they deserve it more. I guess that was the best explanation to their claims. As my eyes explore the cabin, There were many mirrors built for the front passenger seat. I can derive some possible reasons for its existence. It is for his wife, to look at herself from time to time. Or it is used to peep at the passengers at the back. Or the worst scenario, for himself to peep as and when he wants. He told me (sort of) that I look good in dress, and I should wear them more often. He peeked, while driving, at my thighs. I knew that was coming, so I placed my big barney bag on my thigh. It felt like I was selling myself to obtain an A grade. Some have encourage me to lodge a confidential complaint against him, Sorry, i will have to turn down your advices. A few reliable source tells me that I will be seeing him again in the last semester. A complaint will surely incur ill feelings between us, and of course, no matter how hard i work, i would probably end up with a lousy grade. I cannot afford any more C or D. Also, I have not obtain enough evidence to proof my case. I guess I have to stay neutral and protect myself in every ways possible.
Friday, March 20, 2009 I knew my throat is dying on me, really soon. So I took two tablespoons of cough mixture, Chinese-Sinseh style. It was supposedly to be effective with no drowsiness effect. Perhaps my body was really weak already. I felt like I am floating, dozing off every single seconds. Time is ticking so slowly, I cant wait for 12 noon to come. I always take an hour nap instead of food during lunch break, today is no exception. I had a dream, a very weird one which made me bounce of my chair. It took me about 5 minutes to recall my dream. Everything was blur, but I hear a voice exclaiming, "Yong Huang scored a GPA of 8.77" then I turn to look at my report book, i saw 1.4, which i thought was my GPA. My heart sank until I realize it just the cover of the book. I flipped the book open and tried to locate the page that tells me my GPA... and then i woke up. I text him immediately, for I think it may be a good omen. I told Yong Huang about it, added that even you divided 8.77 by 2, you will still got 4. He must feel really surprised to see a text message from me. Dayna had flu for the entire week, so I text Dayna that I was feeling weak too. Irritating Dayna retaliates by saying: The flu buy is everywhere, so we must catch it if not we are not trendy. What an outrageous joke, but she really made my day! So i replied her suggest we should visit to hottest place in town soon- the hospital!
Thursday, March 19, 2009 This is worst than any other horror movie, ever! I do not know if he will see this, I hope no one will be “kind” enough to show him this. Whatever it is, I NEED TO CONFESS! A lecturer visited me in the late afternoon. The purpose of meeting is to discuss on the coming presentation in two days’ time. He is a well-known as a color wolf, $7.80, or whatever you call a pervert. I was wearing a long sleeve v-cut blouse, which I thought was less revealing. Later that day I realized my bust look very big, for which I knew I wrong the wrong bra (Pardon me for my language). So I put on my oversized windbreaker, all the time. We had our discussion at the lobby. I can sense that his eyes are at the wrong direction. There is really nothing to see through my oversized windbreaker. Later we move to his car to conduct a short test on the prototype, And we talk under the hot sun for about 10 minutes. I was sure he was hoping that I would take off my windbreaker, So he can have a good look as my bust. I never gave in despite I was sweating underneath my windbreaker. Finally it was over and we bid goodbye as we parted across the car park. I lip-read as I can barely hear him. To my horror, he move the sides of his lips closer to the centre, Where the upper and lower lips squeezed together, It forms an oval shape and then he releases them. I was stunned; he just gave me a flying kiss. A chilling effect went down my spine that very instant. I am very certain about this, although I hope I seen it wrongly. I told Z the moment I reached the office. She certainly had a good laugh. Z teased me and said that I should have asked him to wait until I knock off, so I can ask him to drive me home. And it would be more than a flying kiss. OH MY GOD! SHE MUST BE KIDDING! I bet he would be delighted to wait, if only I take off my windbreaker. I can imagine that he thrilled he would be.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009 i had some random thoughts the last week. have i turned into a possessive and easily jealous person? i am sad for i know i lost a friend whom i once truly owed. i entrusted her my heart and soul, for i believe our friendship will last. but due to jealousy, i choose to drift apart from her. there is no way i can salvage it now, it was a silly mistake and totally regretted it. i used to start blog hopping with someone i once consider a friend. some time ago, she decided to turn against me, it took me a long while to realise it. the overwhelming sense of betrayal made detest her. it impossible for me to forgive her for i am afraid to be hurt once more. she seems to shower me with some care and concern recently. should i be convinced that her actions are genuine? i will overcome all challenges when i enjoy what i do, since solving them all is a wiser choice, though i do whine a bit from time to time. yet, with much effort in putting it together, i felt awfully insulted. it felt like i was sentenced to "death", to be guilty for every other people mistakes. as a matter in fact, we sacrifice to compromise. on the account of all i have done from the start of time, i do not see why i need to explain my absence to resolve your frustrations. you should have forgiven me like how i once forgive you. i am not being calculative, just utterly disappointed. friendship is easily jeropadised by our assumptions, friendship is easily destroyed when it is neglected, friendship is difficult to revive once the trust is lost. i thought honesty can bring a friendship really fast. now, i felt that honesty can be freakly annoying at times, as we forget to think about each other's feelings. i cannot afford to lose her, lets go drink tea soon!
Tuesday, March 10, 2009 today marks the start of my internship. my dad was really nice to drive me to work today! i was traumatised by the heavy traffic from home all the way to Jalan Boon Lay (JBL). there were times my dad drove on the second inner lane at 30km/h, that shows how terrible the traffic was. the traffic was cleared after PIE (Clementi Ave 6), and my dad speed up to 80km/h on second inner lane. i was surprised, travelling on second inner lane at 80km/h is not his style of driving. the thought of being late on the first day is dreadful. my day started with a two hours orientation at HR. the orientation was relevant, yet too lengthy. i was trying very hard to not yawn throughout the session, it is especially obvious since i was seated right in front of the presenter. one of the presenter is HR officer. it was fun to observe his way of speech and motion. he is indeed expressive and interesting, as he behaviours resemble an eunuch in ancient China. i am not kidding nor bad-mouthing, you got to see him in person to believe. it was 1130 and the supervisor was suppose to bring us to our respective location/department. the room immediately change into a wholesales market, where buyers claims their poultry from the wholesales market. the buyers are the supervisor (in short sup) and we are the poultry. apparently, most sups left their poultry unclaimed. i more or less expected that, but still it was still disappointing. we had lunch (since it's time) and the wait for being claim continues after that. he must be really fed up when he had to call our sups to "claim" us back. he sent many reminders through emails, yet the foreseen situation cannot be avoided. it was ridiculous to hear that one of them deleted his reminders. he shook his head really hard each time he hung up the call. my sups finally arrived at 1410 and we made our way to Portsdown Road. i was thrilled upon arrival. it was unlike the old and rundown buildings at JBL. the place seems to be newly renovated and well furnished. the company deals with maintenance and servicing. my job scope is very much related to ISO standard and quality auditing. it is going to be really fun! i like the new enviroment already. (:
Friday, March 6, 2009 WARNING: this entry is rather sensitive, obscene, insane, somewhat gross, so READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!
i had dinner at the airport today. OIAP (overseas attachment) was off of my mind already, until i saw some familiar faces at the department hall. i met a few at the briefing for all OIAP students, the rest were their friends, who i often meet them in school. 5th March 2009 was the date i planned to leave from Shanghai. if i pursue on for OIAP, i should be there by now, probably be calling home, just like what i did in my dream. the challenging life i am anticipating still thrills me quite a bit, even for now. my brother and i felt we had a curse, which always stopped us from travelling to other countries by plane. this may sound silly but there were too many incidents to prove it was not a coincident. our performance trip to Melbourne was jeopardise by the 911 incident. my brother's training camp to Thailand was cancelled due to riots and chaos. i failed to convince my father to let me go for enrichment trips to China. finally when everything went on well for OIAP that i thought my chance has arrive, it turned out otherwise. there is no more hard feelings, i am just whining about it.
Sunday, March 1, 2009 a kid was out with his parents. they came to a crumpler retail store. (probably it was planned) suddenly, the kid pointed at a barney rustle blanket in orange and brown strips, and say "i want this bag!" it was a straight no from his parents. on the next day, he saw the bag when he opens the wardrobe. his parents are certainly very sweet and thoughtful. the bag is now 4 months old. this kid treasured it so much, he borrowed his cousin's jacket to cover the bag, so it would not get drenched while he runs home in the rain. what a rare yet lovely family.
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please note best view in mozilla firefox if you found yourself taking a longer time to view my blog, click the refresh buttom again after entering the url, the content will appear almost immediately profile Joanne Chua 19890913 Muddle-headed Often hibernates on Sunday Hougang Secondary School Ngee Ann Polytechnic (BQPE Year 3) affiliate missyhappygolucky messages your tags are precious to me so leave a message before you go archives September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 April 2010 credits reminiscenceslove |