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instant updates check out entries Friday, February 27, 2009 i had a terrible dream. i dreamt of picking up a call from my EM3A lecturer. before i could ask her anything, she interrupted me by saying this: "you failed your test, you know? you only got 19 marks..." i thought it was 90 marks initially as i was sub-conscious, until i come to terms with it, my heart sank, like down the endless pit. that was how i jump out of my bed that very morning. 
i cooked lunch for my mother and brother today. my mother was out shopping for groceries, my brother and i are at home, still in our PJs, were too lazy to go downstairs to get packed food. seriously i would not have cooked porridge plus sides dishes if there was enough instant noodles. well, whipped up some simple dishes, which includes fried egg with onion & cheese, stir-fry veg and toasted snacks. i almost teared while chopping the onions. i thought the TV shows were faking, never knew it was true! the smell of it is so strong, it was like having wasashi in your mouth! you should try it one day if you have not. later, my mother got home and yelled at me non stop, saying how irresponsible i am for dirtying the kitchen because i was frying food. surprisingly i did not retaliate. i understand why she is so frustrated, since kitchen is her territory. at least, can she show some appreciation that her daughter is cooking for her? in the end, she had lunch very quietly... my mother and brother was surprised that i added onions into the egg. they knew i love egg and hated onions. i tried it once at karen's place. her sister makes very nice egg with onions! the secret is to stir fry the onions with some salt till it is golden brown then pour in the egg. true enough, the flavour is lifted up, though i hate chewing the onion strips. my mother and brother seems to like it too! talking about egg, i made a promise to someone that i will cook an "egg" course meal for her. i guess it does not matter already...
Thursday, February 26, 2009 i woke up this morning with a warmth heart. i dreamt of my father driving, and he said: "the both of you (my brother and i) are my greatest worry. i never express how much i care for you two in words, but i truly worried for your welfare and future..." (sometime like that) this is something my father would never ever say. it is truth that girls are less observant, since both my parents are lousy at expressing their love through words, it was hard for me to believe that they actually care for me. as i grow up, i learnt to know their style of love. my father would tell grandfather stories about life, so i will learn from the moral of those stories. my mother would scream it out as if she was scolding me. (actually she is lah) i wished my father was like the guy i dreamt of. unfortunately, he said something really nasty just now. "I would choose In-House Project. it does not matter if you go overseas or local internship. it does not matter if you are adventurous or has leadership skills. what matters is you get a diploma at the end of the day. that is what they (the companies) are looking for." i guess it is true to some extent. that paper is really a big deal. i could have chiong for gpa 3.5 or more without my current commitments. those companies love top scholar, isnt it? then again, if i lived life that way, i will died of bordness. my life has not been any better than now. busy, tired, vexed, happy, proud, contented, insanity. emotions is life okay! if i led the life my dad proposed, just get good grades, do only what is neccesary, i will be no different from lim wan ying. really lah, people like her, neither fluck or score local internship. fluck because she offended everyone in the company, score because she suck up to her mentor. okay, that was rude of me. if any lecturers would to read this, i am as good as died. *touching my wooden table* if she would to sue me, i am as good as died, too. *crossing my fingers already* afterall, i still preserved the right to speak freely on my own blog.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009 i pondered over my quick decision to redraw from overseas internship. FYI, it was agreed that i will go for it if im going with a course mate. i successfully got into a marketing firm in Shanghai with my classmate. i was happily preparing myself, and mentally too. three weeks before the trip, my classmate's parents begin to feel really worried. another thing for sure, her parents are reluctant to send her off. (many things was going on then, i shan't mention the details) eventually she called and told me she will pulled off from the trip. and knowing it was too late to get a replacement, i made a really quick decision to withdraw as well. my reason being; my parents does not allow me to go alone. people, knowing my character, i could have fought my way through. my parent can never stop me for what i wanna do. but for once, i begin to think in their shoes. my classmate had a strong bond with her family. this allows her to communicate freely with her parents, a different case for my family. her parents expressed strong reluctant and uneasiness (which turned into frustration later due to some matters) of her choice. these behaviours made me think deeply. will my parents feel this way too? it could be been because they show respect for my decision, if not they knew nothing can stop me but myself. i began to realise my parents also preferred me to go for local internship. my mother is utterly worried (but speak little about it), my father felt it was unnecessary for me to go. and for once, i learnt to think for others, made a decision for the sake of others, little for myself. i guess it was a well made decision for everyone. of course, i cried non stop that very night, the sacrificies i made since the beginning made my heart ached so badly. it has been a week already. yet days ago, i began to regret it. as some of my course mates asked me for assistance for OI, it got me thinking about how mentally prepared i was, the sacrifices i made to make this possible, especially the pain of not going for foc again, that this week will be a busy week for me to pack my luggage, i will have to support my classmate for being homesick, we will climb the great wall of china after settling down, and many many more. tears flow down my cheeks, naturally. maybe i did not show much emotions in front of all, but deep down, i wanted it so badly. so badly that i ponder if my withdrawal was a mistake. i spoke to nick and kenneth, and they both asked me to look on the bright side. kenneth thinks maybe local internship turns out better for me. as a matter in fact, local internship seems to be a scary thing for me. (kenneth knows why it is) there is too many uncertainties in it which builds up the fear it me...
Saturday, February 14, 2009 my friends and i did all the typical couples thing! *photos will come in really soon* STAY TUNNED!
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
i suffering from insomnia now. my heavy head slowed down my pace of blogging. plus, i am using my brother mac book and it is surely not so user-friendly.
Sunday is where it all started. i was totally in the mood to sleep! so i slept away the whole of the weekend, foolishly thought i could write an essay of 2000 words within hours! so i stayed up the whole night and only finished it by dawn. in the end, i missed the test. i did not revise enough for the test too. i cannot risk taking a 20% test with a malfunctioned brain. seen a doctor at the newly-renovated polyclinic in Hougang. the place was beautifully design to accommodate over 60 consultation rooms in the 3 storey high building. it was a 35 minutes wait yet enjoyable with a few bubbly kids around. i always enjoy watching they play and smiles. one of them took the chair for a drum and hit it so rhythmically, i think he will become a great drummer one day! anyway, the doctor gave me painkiller which causes drowsiness. the pill can cure my headache and make me sleep. there is no way i can take the pill since i have to revise for another test. by the way, i met up with my cousin, Hanzel on the way back home. she always has so much to share with me about her school system. after which, we headed our a family dinner. blah blah blah... returned home after 11pm and checked for incoming mails (it is a habit). i received the final warning from the lecturer. he wants all overdue assignments (3 short essays) for marking. had to hold back the revision i started the whole hell of writing again. thankfully, the presence of a good friend motivates me to keep writing. it was finally done by 4 am. by now my brain has officially pronounced dead. dead for it is congested and heavy. if i am a weighing machine, my head would weigh 2000 kg. i slept for 2-3 hours and headed to school. i revised hard-core for an hour before the test. the good thing was i listened to the lectures carefully, so revision was much easier since i just have refresh my memories. i think i will get a satisfied grade for that. after all these hours working like a mad cow, i cant sleep despite being mentally and physically tired. i even played pet society for two hours! shall resort to pills (thou i never believe in painkillers) if i can not go to sleep. wish me good luck, ciao~ PS: i took two-three hours to blog today.
Sunday, February 8, 2009 "hey joanne, i think you put on weight.." "hey pui kia, look at yourself! so fat!" these are the two comments i've been receiving lately. i wonder if i should lose some weight soon. i weigh 51kg about a month ago. after feasting on CNY goodies, i doubt i still weigh the same. perhaps, i am a healthier person now. i only fell ill for once in the process of being 47-51. even since i weigh 51, i ate all kinds of food and never fall ill. my friends around me are ill but i am not. i think my immune system is better now. i doubt i can fit in those tight fitting clothes i used to own. i have totally lost my beautiful body curve! it is good in the sense that it controls my spending desires, bad new is i have limited choice of clothes and style now. i knew jogging will surely tone my body back. but i am too LAZY! i need a exercise partner/ instructor, a girl, really fit and has the body curve i will drool for and she has to be strict on me. i need that kind of discipline to lose weight! meanwhile, i hope, having heavy lunch and no dinner will help. (:
Friday, February 6, 2009 《替我說愛你》 詞／曲／編曲(composed by)：蔡承達 (Joel Chua) 導演 (production team)：5% Production (Chew Wan Chin, Crystal Wang, Joel Chua, Lee Sing Ern, Prue Chew) 主演 (lead actors)：Joel Chua (male lead), Esther Chua(female lead), Lim An Chun(2nd male lead), Ashley(Bicycle guy) This is a project from Singapore Polytechnic, Diploma in Music and Audio Technology Joel Chua is my brother, this is his very first MV! i was initially sad that he didnt choose me to be female lead in this MV. good that he didnt, i'd reject it if i know i will play as his girlfriend! the pretty female lead is Esther, some said we look like sister, do we? (this is the spoiler, do not watch until you watch the MV!) Joel super stiff body language seems to be his unique style already. it totally reflects Joel's thrifty habits at 1:37-1:47, he only go for good food once in a while, totally opposite of me! (MEGA MCSPICY=EXPENSIVE GOOD=GOOD FOOD, FEAST ONLY WHEN MY DAD BUYS IT FOR HIM) the plot at 2:14-2:22 is just too hilarious! esther was looking at joel when she spins, like she knows joel will catch her, then joel arms is stretch so long, the distance between them is so huge, so funny can! the most frustrated part was he took my foolscrap papers, wrote the message (3:49-3:52) for three times! best of it all, he did not tear it out of the booklet! (at least i would not know you use it without my permission!) so i happily brought the booklet to school, only found out he wasted my papers! i was screaming at the top of my voice asking which idiot did this, until i finally recognise it was his handwriting! IRRTATING! then the climate at 4:39, that was the best part of the song, then the shooting angle was so wrong, he's hand covers his mouth, like WTH! all this rantings voiced down to one thing; film is tough, salute all directors/productions! overall, i thought i was really well done! very nice story plot, i was touched at the climate, almost teared. esther was really good i thought! GOOD TRY, giving it 4/5 stars! please watch the MV now(if you have not)! (:
Monday, February 2, 2009  a shot taken above my favourite hide out in NP.such a quiet and remote place, i doubt many know it actually existed. i found the place by accident. i will go there whenever i am upset. a place where i am never afraid to release all my unhappiness by crying out hard. after which, i will stare at the sky for very long. stare at cars after cars running along PIE, while my mind sort my thoughts out. i will miss this place terribly when i graduate from NP.
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please note best view in mozilla firefox if you found yourself taking a longer time to view my blog, click the refresh buttom again after entering the url, the content will appear almost immediately profile Joanne Chua 19890913 Muddle-headed Often hibernates on Sunday Hougang Secondary School Ngee Ann Polytechnic (BQPE Year 3) affiliate missyhappygolucky messages your tags are precious to me so leave a message before you go archives September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 April 2010 credits reminiscenceslove |