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instant updates check out entries Monday, December 14, 2009 it was finally showdown time. my phone went dead over a time-wasting 90 minutes phone conference. It was to get the groupings done so i agreed to speak to that b*tch. Guess what? The first time she did was to thank me for speaking to her. I never buy that and urged her into our main agenda. It was done in one minute her long time team mate is back in my team again. Then i was involved in an argument as a third party. He left the Trio and became a team with her. It was perhaps the biggest mistake in his life to feel pity for her. After which for a good 85 minutes I heard how he was mistreated as a team mates while she defend for herself. And there she goes again; "I thought... I assumed...". Did I mentioned she also fit words into other people's mouth? I disengage myself from the argument by doing research for a project. It was alarming when the phone is running on low battery. I allowed the conference to continue because I felt he needed to vent as much as he could. Such opportunity do not come by easily so it still be made in full use. The conference ended when i mistakenly disengaged it together with an incoming call. I thought it was finally over until she called. And she did it again and it is more than ever! She cried (as usual) and plead for forgiveness. SHE PLEAD ALRIGHT! She hopes in return to receive some guidance to become a better classmate. OMG, she must be kidding. No! She was not, she expressed her sincerity by pleading over five times! My mind drifted away while she was pleading. Then I was reminded of her nasty acts. She caused so much trouble in class and even back stabbed me (i only got to know it just days ago from a friend!). She refused to change every time we forgive her. I completely gave up on her. She was not going to stop pleading so I set her mum by giving her a big NO. There was no way I am going to forgive her, ever again. Guess what? She even have the cheek to ask why! It was the last straw. I scolded her at the top of my voice over the phone... I have been dreaming about this day for months! It has came to a point that I want to tear her silky long hair off her scalp or give her a tight slap on her almost flawless face. I managed suppressed it. I am not going to risk my diploma certificate. Other than that, it never cross my mind I could ever get even with her! She was impossibly ignorant. She did not give up and recite the things she should do to redeem herself. Why she did not do it when she all along knew what was right for her? I got so agitated I shouted "If you want to redeem yourself, give us by our grades, give us by our peace!". I disengaged the call immediately. She did not call back this time. It probably set her off crying even harder. I gave her a chance. In fact, I gave her the chance to change in many occasions, since more than one year ago! The rest did the same as well. If you were truly sincere about becoming a better classmate, two months would be more than enough! She was never appreciative, lets not waste our time alright? I chanced upon the the course manager and he told me her mother is going to see our advisor (again). So I told him in details what had happened. You should look his turned-off face. I am sure I would be perfectly fine even if the b*tch complains about me scolding her over the phone. 
Tuesday, December 8, 2009 i got so agitated i felt the need to pen it down. i can totally comprehend to how you feel. there is definitely the need to vent it out. you feel so horrible in and out you thought it changed into a walking corpse. lets get it straight; reality hits hard but it is not the end of the world. i am here talking about single-sided affections. i have plently of such experiences so let me talk sense to you. i admire Korean woman for their courage. they brave against all odds for the man they desire and demand for their love in return, with success for love their only option. i needed the explanation, i need that "tight hard slap" to wake up my sense too. i wish i could act like a korean woman but i never did. now do you see we are on the same boat? i wanted so many times to confront my crush but i never did. it is too much of a ridiculous act. Singapore is indeed a place where Korean dramas do not work. you wont get what you want and instead turn him off. by the way, do you even read body language? some things are better to be left unsaid. i hope you have true friends who tells you the reality that you were blind from. i will like to apology on the behalf of who has cost you the pain. he had little consideration for your uncertain heart. if you think you really need his answer, summon all your reminding courage and ask him face to face, he will give you a proper one. i am positive you are not the substitute. if you were, you will be experiencing 100 times more agony, which is something worth joying for at the moment. please make sure you will do what you said. come on girl, you are not 15 but 18 years old. go ahead and cry it out! it would take awhile but i guess you should move on now.
Saturday, December 5, 2009 the following happened two weeks ago. Monday during SMK lecture, we were on the topic of franchising and Ong gave a few examples... i gave him a stern NO when he mentioned the brand 'Sweet Talk', it was a terribly mistake which set my classmates laughing out loud. for those (perhaps most of us) who did not know, 'Sweet Talk' is indeed a franchise. i only figure out later that lecturers only give accurate examples. during Friday's presentation. i spotted some errors and got occupied in correcting them. as soon as i am done, i heard a voice saying "deduct marks!". without a second thought of who it might be, i shouted "whoever dare to deduct our marks, you are bound to get it from me!". the class went into a total silent and i continue with my presentation. in the later part of the presentation, Ong spotted another error and causally said "deduct marks!". i actually broke into laughter's of shame. damn i was extremely rude due to my silliness all the time. it is not cool to offend the same lecturer twice in a week. there goes my grades if he would ever take my recklessness to heart. oh well, i hope my silliness brought some smiles on your face.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009 Christmas and New Year aside, December is jam packed as far as tests and deadlines are concerned. everyone in NP rant over the same complaint of losing sleep to meet deadlines. thankfully several lecturers took pity on us and lighten our load by a bit. trust me, complaining to your lecturers does wonders! i enjoyed watching my peers suffered while i was away (for attachment of course). it thrills me most when i am so stress-free! like they say, what comes around goes around. i am suffering the same plight and it feels like 1000 times tougher. i cannot wait to graduate and find a job. it is getting meaningless staring into the screen doing essays after essays, research after research... Darn, i have to give Ninja Assassin a miss this thrusday. ARGH ARGH AARRRGGGHHHH!
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please note best view in mozilla firefox if you found yourself taking a longer time to view my blog, click the refresh buttom again after entering the url, the content will appear almost immediately profile Joanne Chua 19890913 Muddle-headed Often hibernates on Sunday Hougang Secondary School Ngee Ann Polytechnic (BQPE Year 3) affiliate missyhappygolucky messages your tags are precious to me so leave a message before you go archives September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 April 2010 credits reminiscenceslove |